What if you could not bathe yourself? What if you could not dress yourself without assistance? What if you experienced so much pain when you walked, you decide to not eat lunch or dinner because it’s too much effort to get to the kitchen? What if you were loosing your independence instead of your loved one?
Frustration sets in when we are caring for our loved ones. But, it is important to walk in your loved one’s shoes. How would you feel if you were the one needing assistance? As those we care for age, it is important to allow them to maintain as much independence as possible and instill dignity. On several occasions, we’ve heard those receiving care say they feel they are being treated like a child. They have lost so much independence they feel like they have no control. It is important to allow your loved one to have control where possible. For instance, if mom can’t open her pill bottles, consider a medication dispenser. Or, possibly help your mom sort a weeks’ supply of medications into a pill container. If she can still understand her finances but you are managing bank accounts, include her in the financial discussions and decisions.
If dad will be safe taking a bathe with a shower stool, handheld showerhead, and handles installed, that is an opportunity to stay independent that much longer. Later, someone may have to stand near the door. As time progresses, he may need someone to assist him. Taking strategic steps to maintain dignity is key. In addition, allowing your loved one to be independent, as long as it is safe, will be easier on you.
So many times it’s easier for us, the family caregivers, to just make the decisions or take action and get things done. Often as caregivers we are so busy and in such a rush, we may forget the importance of independence and dignity. Consider how you would feel and take time to walk in your loved one’s shoes.
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Your CAREjourney Guides
Staci Witten and Liz Applegate
Thursday the 22nd, 2010 at 8 a.m.
